Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Pregnancy part 2

Well, I have yet to feel "pregnant" yet. I know some people would give anything to have my pregnancies. I have never thrown up, except last time when I hit transition. I am blessed. I do have lower back aches, but that really doesn't count. I know I am only a few weeks along, but I do long for the day that I have a slight bit of nausea from Eric's cologne (happened both times before).

Another thing I wanted to write about is breaking the news. Everytime I find out, I just can't help but shout tothe world how happy and excited we are to have a new baby on the way. Everyone always seems very happy for us, until this time. I don't know why, but all 3 times my Mom has never seemed happy. She is always... I don't know the word for it! With Tabitha we called her first. The response was "Are you sure?". With Grady she was the 3rd to know, the response was "Oh, ok...". This time was "OOPS!!". REALLY!!!??? I honestly don't get it. Also this time when we told Eric's parents, they seemed less than thrilled and commented on me still nursing Grady. Are our parents really trying to push us away? It seems so.

High expectations / no expectations... a New Years Resolution

Well, Eric and I have decided that we are no longer doing holidays, except for Thanksgiving and New Years from now on. We will also only have low key birthdays, just us in attendance, maybe grandparents too, but that's it.

Eric is tired of me making such a big deal out of "commercial holidays", and I know I do. Which is where expectations come in to play. I have very high expectations on how parties are coordinated and special meals, etc... Well, from now on I will have NO EXPECTATIONS. I am so tired of feeling like something is always missing, or expecting Eric to go out of his way to do something special for me on days such as Valentines, our anniversary, or even my birthday. I am tired of dropping hints, just to be let down every year.

I have decided to see what is really infront of me. A husband who loves me and allows me to stay home with our 2, soon to be 3, children. We get what we NEED through out the year, and get a few of our wants too when business is good.

Not having Christmas this year was freeing. I don't know why we didn't do this sooner. This is the first year that I don't have to worry about how to pay January's bills! It may even come to getting more bills paid off too! Wow, what a concept!

I posted this link on Facebook. http://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/72/Pagan-Holidays.htm

I am so stunned, that's mostly all I want to say. It just emphasizes it more that holidays are a big farce.

I am all for the simple life. Eric and I have started to strive for that in the past few yearss and we are so much happier. Learning to cook everything from scratch, sewing, crocheting, homeschooling, homebirth, nursing my children, only going out of the house when absolutely necessary (2x a week maximum). This life is definitely not for everyone, but for us, it is a wonderful life.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Memories by grade, part 2

8th Grade, Von Steuben Middle School

This year changed my life. After being such a disappointment to all of my teachers and parents acedemically. Everything clicked this year. I even excelled in band and choir. Damon and I also ran an after school bible study once a week.

1. I was not "dumb" anymore. I think the curriculum was so far behind what I already knew, it was a relief to actually take a year to "review" everything. Everyone actually thought I was smart!

2. I loved being in band and choir. I excelled in the competitions and the teachers were very supportive and friendly. I actually was allowed to have fun during classes and performances.

3. I had my first boyfriend, but not for long. My only "date" with him was to see Heavy Weights and my dad sat between us the whole movie... how embarrassing!!


9th - 12th Grade, Richwoods Community High School, Health/Science Academy,
Mrs. Roddy, Miss Kapchinske, Mrs. McClain , Mr. Wong, and many more (Sr. Smith "Esmis")

I made many friends and came across a select few from my past at PCS.

I did not excel in band. I felt like a fool. I was never able to practice at home, so I was never good enough for more than last chair. The only fun part was marching band and when we played during basketball games, which Mr. Jirousek abhorred.

I excelled in the HSA. I was still considered "smart" by my class mates and easily made friends with my academy teachers (non-academy teachers were another story).

I climbed the ranks of HSA Government, eventually being President my senior year.

I was in the church Teen Choir and enjoyed having solos and going on tour once a year. I think this is what really helped me through high school the most. I was also in a girls chorus my junior year, but we only performed once. I was actually really surprised I even got into the "exclusive" little click. Guess they were surprised I could hold a tune throughout and entire song accapella :)

I got to drive my "BEEQUA-mobile" to school.

I babysat once for my spanish teacher, Mr. Smith.

I had 2 boyfiends during high school. One was my first kiss, who moved away to live with his dad, the other is now my husband :)

I always had to rely on my very good band friend to set me up with a date to all the dances, except for 4 of them. The first 2 of my hand picked dates were disasters, the last 2 were with Eric.

I held a job throughout high school as a child care provider on Wednesday nights and some school holidays for Mother's Day Out group at church.

I was both relieved and jealous that I never got to go to the youth programs with people my own age. Relieved because I didn't want to really hang out with the people that went to PCS, and jealous because they got to go on retreats and such, since most people at my church (and PCS) had doctors, lawyers, and such as parents. I would have never been able to afford that. Also everyone knew we rented from the church. If the retreats were leaving and I was home, I would secretly watch everyone pile into the charter buses out of my window, since we lived right next to the parking lot.

When I turned 16, I had 2 jobs so I could pay for Damon and I to have lunches at school and pay for my car insurance and gas. What ever was left over was for clothes I got at discount at Bergners and little outings with friends (which were far and few between).

I got a job at Subway to, I guess you could kind of call it stalking..., I had a crush on a guy that worked there. It really was a bad idea.

My next job was at Bergners. I will never work retail again. My feet killed me and I KNOW that I worked more than I was supposed to. No teen should be working past midnight.

The HSA led me to a job working in the Children's hospital. I am very greatful for my experiences there, but I could never do that again. It is just too emotional (and germy...).

My senior year I was able to go to college for 1/2 a day. I became a Certified Nursing Assistant. I was trained in a nursing home. I will never work in one of those ever again, but it did give me knowledge later to help take care of my Grandpa the last few days of his life.

My senior trip was to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I am really glad my Grandma had me saving what little I could from the time I started making money. I had such an awesome experience. Even though 90% of the people who went, went just because it was legal to drink down there. Not saying I didn't drink too, but I learned that was going to be the first and last time I was ever going to get drunk...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Pregnancy... The beginning

I have decided to use my blog to keep up with what I do during my pregnancies to stay healthy.

Since I am still nursing Grady and I am planning another homebirth, I must take responsibility for every action I do and do not make.

First, I take prenatal vitamins, which should be a given.

Second, I drink at least 8oz of Raspberry Leaf tea daily, from the day I find out I'm pregnant until a couple weeks after the baby is born.

Third, I eat the Brewer Diet http://www.bradleybirth.com/PD.aspx as closely as I can EVERYDAY. If you are planning a homebirth, you must be nourished throughout. This pregnancy should be very nourished, since I now make our own bone broths and we do not eat out more than 2 times a month.

As I progress through this pregnancy, I will get more in depth my thoughts on birthing and other issues.

Friday, December 10, 2010

False Negatives

I am so relieved that I am finally not going out of my mind as of this morning! After an error and 2 negative pregnancy tests, I finally got the positive result I knew it had to be.

I am so excited! It was a month earlier than planned, but a baby is a blessing. I think I can handle sharing a birthday month :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Sewing adventures

As most of you know, I actually enjoy wearing skirts. So that was automatically what I learned to make first. I make the prairie type skirt, so that there are only 2 cuts to make and I can generally sew Tabitha one in about 20 minutes and me one in about 45 minutes, give or take.

Now I am venturing out a little. I am going to try my best to make peasant tops. The pattern can also be elongated to make "Little House on the Prairie" type night gowns and if you add an apron or smock, it is instantly a daytime dress also.

I received the pattern from a lady that sews modest clothing, and whom I have bought a few things over the internet from before, such as nursing dresses. I am so excited that I can make things for Tabitha and I to match. I can even make the tops long enough for maternity, WOO HOO! I am so tired of the mainstream maternity/nursing stores having abosolutely anything that I feel comfortable enough to wear.

When I was pregnant with Grady, I made myself maternity prairie skirts. I practically lived in them! So much more comfortable than the tight little skirts that Motherhood offers, that don't allow you to walk properly, let alone make you sit funny, just so you don't show everything to the world.

I am taking the pattern that I just recieved and copying it to felt, so that I will never have to worry about ripping a paper pattern or having holes all over. The pattern is sized xxs girls to 1x women. I just couldn't pass that up, since it only cost me $21.

I will post pictures and give updates once I start sewing a garment, but for now, my time will be copying onto the felt.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Memories by grade pt 1

I really don't remember anything in my life before 1st grade. I have picture albums galore, but no real memories.

The only thing about Kindergarten is that my teacher's name was Mrs. Trilikis and I went to Hines Elementary.

1st Grade, Peoria Christian School (PCS), Mrs. Gross

I remember 4 distinct things about this class.

1. My grandparents surprised me and the class with a (early) birthday party for me. My birthday was always right before school started and almost everyone else got to bring in cupcakes during the year. Grandpa was a Shriner clown, so he dressed up in his YoYo attire and blew up ballons for my classmates.

2. Story time on a huge piece of carpet.

3. One of my classmates brough in a real frog for show and tell and it got loose. I caught it :) (I was such a tomboy!

4. There was only 1 bathroom break a day. We were taking a test and I peed all over the floor because I didn't want to get in trouble.

2nd Grade, PCS, Mrs. ?

1. We read Pilgrim's Progress

2. Chasing boys on the playground and getting the scars on my knees.

3. Hatching chicks for a science experiment.

4. Bug raising in our classroom (praying mantis, caterpillar)

5. Faking sick to go to the office and get some Tums. (We all did it...)

3rd Grade, PCS, Mrs. Sheets

I remember my first lie. It seemed like everyone in my class was going to have a new sibling, so I decided I felt left out and told her that my mom was expecting too. Boy did I get it, because Mrs. Sheets called mom that night to congratulate her!

I ended up babysitting her children a couple of times 7 years later.

4th Grade, PCS, Mrs. J. Smith

One of the most memorable.

1. She was into performing. We did lots of musical things for Grandparents Day and President's Day. We had a few field trips to local nursing homes.

2. I was "diagnosed" with ADD, put on Ritalin and got bifocal glasses.

3. Everyone thought I needed to be held back a year.

4.Got to have a locker for the first time.

4th Grade, PCS, Miss Job

The only thing I really remember is that no one at home took interest in my everyday school life, so I thought that I could get away with not memorizing a book of scripture. Not so! I still had to go to school that day and stand in front of the class and recite the first verse that I did know and embarrass myself that I hadn't done what I was supposed to. Needless to say, I got an F on that day. I also only chose that passage because I had a crush on this boy that did the same passage the year before. That boy was killed in high school by a "friend" over a girl.

Music teachers:
Mr. Heinemann - 4th through 7th - violin

1. Dad made my life unbearable around him. He had some kind of male ego thing or something with him and they both took it out on me

Mrs. Arnett - general music/ plays/ choir - 1st through 7th

1. I never was in a play until 6th grade, not sure why, and it was only because everyone had to be on stage at least once before 6th grade.

2. In 7th I was stuck in the alto section instaed of the sopranos, which didn't make me happy, but it seemed as though I was the only one who knew the notes when it came to concert time. Maybe it was on purpose?

3. The musicals were always a big production.

4. It always seemed as if my parents never cared. Grandma and Grandpa always had to take us to our performances, then we would hope that our parents would make it. Dad rarely did, or if he did, was always on call and everyone heard his beeper going off during the performamces.

PE - Mrs. Fox - 1st through 7th

1. I was never good enough for her, she would pick on me to no end.

2. I had never seen a sport being played EVER until I was in 7th grade, when my friend brought me to a game, since she was a cheerleader.
The first time we tryed playing soft ball, I had no idea what in the world I was doing. Everone else knew what to do. I actually hit the ball... and then ran all the bases. There were people on the bases, I was clueless.

3. I actually wanted to try playing volleyball and be a cheerleader, but my parents didn't want to have to come to the games and my Mom told me that I would definitely get hurt, so the answer was NO!

5th Grade, PCS, Mrs. N Smith

Oh boy! Here we go...

1. I became teacher's pet this year. She was a very old lady and I did everything to please her.

2. We had a guinea pig for a class pet. I had guinea pigs at home too. I brought my guinea pig over for a "play date" and we ended up with 5 little guinea pigs a couple months later, lol!

3. My Mom and a friend talked me into chopping off all my hair. What a horrible mistake! I was made fun of at school and church. We eventually tried perming it also. NEVER AGAIN!!

6th Grade, PCS, Mrs. Brooks (Miss Job) & Mrs. Mackay

Nothing really remarkable.

7th Grade, Mrs. Patterson, Mr. Guess, Mr. Rosenberger, Mrs. Brooks , Mrs. Meyers & Miss White

1. We were the first class to be in the new addition to the school.

2. I was a bawling mess at the awards ceremony because my grandparents decided they couldn't afford to send us to private school anymore. I was more scared than anything because of the horror stories they told us about public schools.

**This is a big turning point in my life - up next...

Spending the night / being there for your children

Ok, I will say this up front. This is my opinion, not everyone's. After tyoing this all out, it is more of a personal rant, so if you don't want to read it, I don't blame you. It just stuff that Damon and I talk about and I really need to get off my chest.

I really don't understand why I keep getting presure from my Mom for Tabitha to spend the night. I have said no, and no means no right? Why keep telling Tabitha behind my back that she can spend the night sometime, only for me to repeatedly say NO! and make Tabitha upset.

I guess she thinks that since Damon and I were always carted off to my grandparents so they could have "adult time", she thinks I should do the same. They were always busy with everything under the sun, except for their children. Sure, Mom stayed home and ran a daycare so we wouldn't have to have a babysitter, but was never "there". We were always expected to help keep the kids occupied and clean up after them at the end of the day. Then there was always church that was Sunday morning, Sunday night choir practice (for Damon and I), and Wednesday night choir practice (for the adults). Then there was bowling league on Thursday nights. After all that commotion during the week, we spent at least 1 more night with my grandparents. And she wonders why we had such an attachment to them instead of her?

I honestly do not remember being home very much, there was always something to do. If it wasn't something going on at church, there was always something for school, like a concert or play, which was like pulling teeth to get anyone there to see us perform, let alone get there ourselves.

That's another thing! In between us coming home from school and bedtime, as we helped with the daycare, there was never anytime for us to finish our homework or practice our instruments because "it's too loud" and as we got older we would always come home during nap times and get yelled at. I was always so embarrassed that I couldn't play my musical parts correct, since the only time I got to play my instrument was in class. It was even worse in high school, when I played the flute, since we had to stand in front of the class and play "the hard parts" of very hard classical pieces. I never had a real chance. As soon as I moved here with Eric I sold the flute on Ebay, since it had so many bad memories, but to this day I still have my violin...

When I was in my 2nd year of 4th grade, I remember my grandma always picking me up from school and going to her house in order to practice my violin, so her money spent on private lessons was not wasted. She also was the one who helped me learn math. I really don't think anyone knew how much Damon and I hated school.

This, and many more reasons is why Eric & I have decided to homeschool our children and not let them be juggled around here and there. When you are married and have a family, that is what you are... a family. I couldn't imagine having any of my children away from me more than 2-3 hours. Also, I know that emotionally Tabitha is not ready for that either (hence the family bedroom).

I know through my blog I will be venting about my childhood more, but I thought I should stop at this point, or I might just write a book.